mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
