Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
