me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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