just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
