he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
