I want to stick my p in your. b.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my poor anus
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
