I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
