I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
