YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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