Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you win again, gameday.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
