She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
now i know why i became what i already was.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
