How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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