If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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