Ambien. No doubt about it.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
