Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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