Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
