i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
