you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
