fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
