Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
