Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
