Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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