Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
