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She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
