sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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