i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize