All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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