i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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