let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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