My brain says no but my pants say off.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
