So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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