every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
