your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My vagina is very pro this idea
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
