singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
