his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
