She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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