So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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