these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
