Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
