it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize