thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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