I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize