You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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