Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
