I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
