Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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