Porn is love you can see.
he thought i was a dude.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
