He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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