Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
