i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
