Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
