I smell stomach acid.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
