I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
