What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
