forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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