so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
