Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize