I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
