U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
