New low: just hacked my moms facebook
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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