Girls should come with a carfax report
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
