So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
this will be a night to untag.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize