oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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