im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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