all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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