I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
