Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
