his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
