Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
