Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
