it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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