Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
