nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
